i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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