you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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