Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
