I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize