Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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