He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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