Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
