It's just like the Real World with babies
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
