Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
