Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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