He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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