have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
