id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
