Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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