Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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