Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
50% drunk capacity currently
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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