Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't make out with my wife yet
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
