College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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