Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
