If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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