The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
