The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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