i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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