I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
