when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
