Yo dont text me then not text me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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