Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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