I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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