No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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