Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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