His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
