i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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