I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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