Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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