Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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