..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
