Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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