I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize