Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
