I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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