i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The cops high fived after they tackled you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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