im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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