I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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