i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
