: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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