he was CRYING into my vagina
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
