we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
