Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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