Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
