what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
