Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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