Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
