Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
