just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
