you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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