do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
