She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
