i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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