Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
